Time for ourselves
I am on vacation this week. The result of a generous friend I’ve been given the gift of time at a beach out for 7 days. Every year I take a week long trip with a friend that involves sleeping, reading, walking and writing. This year that friend wasn’t able to go and so I thought my plans were kaput. Happily another friend came up with this little arrangement.
I think I’ve always had the desire to take time for myself whether it was seeing a movie alone or with a friend, scrapbooking, crafting or hanging out with a friend or even vacationing without my family but it’s not always been easy. I think like a river (I use that analogy a lot) our availability to do so becomes narrow and wide. When our kids are sicker, when our kids are struggling, when our life just demands more like paperwork, meetings, applications and appointments we just don’t have the time for ourselves.
It’s those times I want to talk about. It’s the times that we feel alone, when our life is so hectic we barely have time to take a shower. I want to talk about the days we don’t know how we’ll get it all done. How, during those times, do you find time for yourself?
* I take a 30 minute nap. I will turn on the TV and lay down on the couch. I don’t feel guilty about it. Ever.
* At night when the kids are asleep I try to do something I enjoy like reading, writing, crafting.
* I let the housekeeping slide a lot. A lot more than I would have before this life.
* I let my VM work for me and don’t talk on the phone when I need time to myself.
* I let other things go; I don’t commit to things I really don’t want to do because my time is limited.
* I learned how to say no.
I was just wondering what ways you might find time to yourself. Is it lunch alone? The laundry room hiding? I know that I do need time for myself because when I don’t I’m not very pleasant to be around.
So really, that makes taking time for myself is kind of a gift for everyone else, right? Share! Maybe you’ll teach me a new trick for stealing a few minutes…
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About The Author
Julia Roberts
Julia Roberts is founder of Support for Special Needs and has been a regular contributor since its inception in May 2010. A mom to two kids with special needs, she didn't want other parents to feel what is the often isolating world of raising a child (or two!) with disabilities. Her kids had kidney transplants at the age of eight and will need liver transplants in the future as a result of ARPKD/CHF. They both have vision disorders and learning disabilities.
I dream of a vacation – heck, I’d love a vacation *with* my kid and husband (our one big trip each year is usually to visit family – as you probably know yourself, that’s not necessarily much of a vacation). I try to maintain a few social circles and go out about once a month with a group of women (the groups overlap but aren’t the same) for an adult beverage and some adult conversation that often is less about kids and more about everything from backyard chickens to books. At least for a minute I’m me again… I count those times out more than times (like right now, actually) where my husband takes over kid-watching duty, because I’m not always entirely productive at those times. 😉
Marla, I dream of a vacation too. Our 4 year old wants to go to Disney World but we need to go visit family in Australia (yeah, that’s a “vacation” in quotes because it’s to go see family which is stressful but necessary) before we can do Disney. And I want Micah to be old enough to really enjoy it too…