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Avatar of Jennifer King

by Jennifer King

Birthdays and Special Needs: Happy Birthday Max

July 3, 2012 in Community Wisdom, Featured, Featured Member by Jennifer King

On the Fourth of July my older son Max will be nine years old, which works out perfectly for him.  Despite his autism he has always loved parades and fireworks.  I may worry about losing him in the crowd, but I never worry he won’t have a good time. He is probably the happiest person I have ever known. I don’t know many people who wake themselves laughing!

This last year was a big year for him. He started spending some of his day in a mainstream class, something that I admit worried me. But after a period of adjustment it worked out quite well. He was also bringing home more and more schoolwork marked, “Did this on his own!” and “Required no prompting!”

He was even invited to a couple of birthday parties. One we passed on because it was at a bowling alley and I was worried about the noise level. We made it to the other one, where they had a bouncy castle and pizza, two of Max’s all-time favorite things.

Towards the end of the school year I was feeling confident enough to allow him to walk from the front door to his bus all on his own. ( I admit I stood in the door I watched.)

His communication remains an issue, his speech team at school feels confident that he is developing functional language skills.

In his own way and in his own time he is gaining independence and confidence, and I couldn’t be more proud of him.

The future remains a question mark, but I try no to focus on that. He has come a long way already, and there is no telling how far he will go.

Yes, it’s easier to imagine a future for his neurotypical brother, but the truth I can’t really know what his future holds either.  And when it comes down to it, what I want for both of them isn’t really so different. I want them to learn and grow. I want develop their gifts as best they can, to be as much as they can.

And I know it’s a cliché to say it, but what I want most is for them to be happy.

So far Max has that one down pat!

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Please visit Build-A-Bear Workshop’s blog where Support for Special Needs site co-founder is telling her daughter’s story.

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Avatar of Julia Roberts

by Julia Roberts

Joy through special needs

January 27, 2011 in Featured, From Julia by Julia Roberts

The week my daughter was born I had a lot of sadness. I also had greater joy because I was celebrating her birth! A welcomed and loved addition or our little family, I sent an email to friends the day after we got home from the hospital. I said something about welcoming our beautiful daughter into the world. I mentioned her amazing eyes, her long finger and toes and I said how happy we were she joined our family. In the second paragraph I told everyone who loved us about her failing kidneys and said we were sad about that but we needed for people to celebrate her life.

I think, without knowing it, I set up how I wanted to embrace the joys of this new life of parenting kids with special needs before the sadness.

Is the sadness still there? Yes. But are the joys I have sweeter? Probably.

When we asked the community to share their joys I realized that there was a similar theme. We all shared in the miraculous joys of daily mundane (not to us) events like walking and eating. We have and continue to celebrate the milestones our children with special needs. We particularly like typical events like siblings who play and learn from each other, when our kids make friends and when they laugh and smile.

We like to see our children thrive and have pride. Milestones come in many forms. One mom said she got to witness her son learn how to open his eyes – fused since birth – and thought, “Who else gets that privilege?” One mom said, “I once heard that when you have a child with special needs, you don’t just celebrate milestones, you celebrate “inchstones.”

Five or more years ago that I realized I do love to witness the little things (milestones especially) and I was (am) probably even smug about that fact. I reason that my challenges should at least afford me the opportunity to have something over my friends who have children with typical development. I probably should feel bad but I do not.

You know what? I watch my daughter jump up in the air about 4 inches on both feet. That alone probably does not seem that spectacular but it took her nearly 3 years of trying. Therapy. Falling. Frustration. Laughing. When my son, who struggles with confidence, is even a little bit proud of himself, even just a tad, I feel joy. Immense joy.

I’m not afraid to admit the struggles we face make the joys in our life sweeter; sweeter than those of you with typical families.

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Avatar of Dr. Tiffany Showalter

by Dr. Tiffany Showalter

Independence with self-care

September 28, 2010 in Ask the Occupational Therapist, Insider Insight by Dr. Tiffany Showalter

When our lovely little children are born into the world, they depend on us for their every need. We watch them grow and eventually they are able to do more and more for themselves. They learn to hold their bottles, sit up, reach for things they want, and hold utensils for feeding. Next, we watch them begin to move around their environment by scooting, crawling, and too soon sometimes walking. Walking opens up an entirely new world to your toddlers, full of opportunities to be independent.

It is not until those preschool years that we usually see children wanting to do more for themselves. They might object to the clothes you pick out for them, want to brush their own teeth, or go to the bathroom without help from you. This new found journey for independence can be unnerving for parents, but is essential for personal and social development.

Around the ages of three or four, most self-care skills become apparent, but becoming an expert at them may take much longer. If your child has a disability, these milestones may take much longer.

Self-feeding
7 months Finger feeds dry cereal
9 months Feeds self cracker using whole hand
2-2 ½  years Scoops food using spoon with spilling
2-2 ½  years Spears and shovels food using fork with some spilling
4 years Holds spoon appropriately with fingers
5-5 ½ years Uses knife to cut soft foods and spread

Undressing
1 ½ -2 years Removes socks or unties shoes
2-2 ½  years Removes pants with elastic waists and pulls over tops

Removes unfastened coat
3 years Undresses self

Dressing
3-3 ½  years Puts on coat, shoes (can be wrong feet), socks, pullover garments, pulls up pants
4 years Distinguishes front/back and clothes that are inside out, orients clothing and puts clothing on
7 years Discriminates inside and outside of clothing and can fix if wrong

Unfastening
1 year Unsnaps front snaps
2-2 ½  years Unzips and zips a non-separating sipper
3 years Unbuttons front buttons
3 ½  years Unzips front opening zipper

Fastening
3 ½  years Buttons small buttons
3 ½ -4 years Snaps most snaps-front
4 ½  years Zips front, separating zipper
5 ½ -6 years Zips, unzips, hooks, unhooks separating zipper
6-6 1/2 years Ties bows on shoes

Hygiene
2-2 ½  years Wipes nose on request
3 ½ -4 years Completes hand washing routine
4 ½ -5 years Brushes teeth
5 ½ -6 years Manages all aspects of toileting
6-6 ½ years Blows and wipes nose by self

Adapted from Hand Function and the Child:  Foundations for Remediation, by A. Henderson & C. Pehoski (Eds.), “Selfcare and hand skills,” pp.  164-183.

Disclaimer: I hope you enjoyed reading this article. Please remember you are reading this information of your own free will and are taking the information at your own risk. The author is the legal copyright holder of this material it may not be used, reprinted, or published without my written consent. This information is for entertainment and informational purposes only and is not intended to provide or circumvent medical, legal or other professional advice.

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