This probably belongs in Rants, but I’m going to put it here. I just want to say that I really really really DISLIKE it when people complain to me about not being able to meet their responsibilities because they are so busy and on and on and on…try doing it all alone! (It’s not that I’m not sympathetic, because I truly am. They just have no idea how it sounds to me when I’m drowning in life in general most of the time. Good grief!)

Siobhan…although I don’t single parent I can for sure feel for you – I feel overwhelmed at remembering the extras and need constant reminders – I rely heavy on troop reminders. I wonder if you appeal to their compassion – and be honest that you are overwhelmed with the details because you are the only one – if that might help. Whenever I want/need someone who bugs the crap out of me to do something I try to pull the special needs card because honestly I think people just don’t think about the challenges. I know you probably don’t want to be the poster family for single parenting but maybe they can learn from you. But then, maybe they are just jerks and it’ll all be for nothing anyway (that’s a risk too). Anyway, just wanted to reach out to you and tell you I HEAR YOU! Hugs.

Thanks, Julia. I appreciate being heard! I’m not sure how many people actually use this group, but maybe that will start to change now.

It’s funny that you’d talk about appealing to their compassion and all. I did just that after I wrote that post. (Guess I needed to get that out first.) While the leader’s response was still defending their stupid website reminders, she did seem to respond with less “why are you asking us to do what we signed up to do” than before. I don’t expect much will change, though she said that she did set the reminders on the website, so we’ll see about that. These two have grandiose plans and elaborate rather than useful activities for the little one, so they make it so much harder on themselves than need be. They also focus a lot on things I don’t think belong in the scouts (throwing a huge Christmas party complete with secret santa requirements rather than focusing on, say, decorating cookies for a nursing home or something). I’m not giving it any more energy than need be to get Malaika to meetings. I certainly don’t expect any increase in communication. We’ll have to see, I guess. It’s a shame, though. I’m still looking for a place for Malaika to get exposure to the community service aspects of things. Adia’s troop does service projects all the time, but this other one is more interested in fancy pants stuff. (And here this veers off into a whole other discussion topic, eh?)

I think that qualifies you, Chaotic Mom. Anytime you have to do it alone, it qualifies in my book. Not to mention the added stress of deployment. It sounds like that was a most difficult situation for you and your family. Are you still in the same place?

I have a very close friend here who helps with kid coverage a lot, and I don’t know what I’d do without her (all my family is on the west coast; I’m in Ohio). Adding to difficulties right now is that she just had a total knee replacement on Wednesday. She’ll be back in business in about 4 weeks, but until then I’m more on my own than usual. And my regular babysitter is off now until after Christmas. So…

Interestingly enough, the troop leader responded to the compassion plea. She claims to have set the website to send out meeting reminders for every meeting from here on out. We’ll see if it actually does that. I have been less than excited about a lot that these leaders have done, and I don’t like their lackluster communication attempts. Like you, I would set up a list and one click everyone gets a personal email. That’s the way to do it. But that, apparently, is beyond their abilities. I’ve run two yahoogroups lists for our adoption group for the past 11 years and it is not difficult. The overwhelming message that I hear from them is that they want to title of leader but not the responsibility. I do not have time to be more involved with the troop, certainly not be a leader, so I guess I can’t complain from that regard, but you would think they would want to communicate with the parents of the girls in the troop. I have no idea what the girls are doing from meeting to meeting. Last year they sent us emails letting us know, but I guess they feel like adding the new people to their email lists is too much work. Sad, truly. It’s the girls that lose out in the end. My oldest daughter has had great girl scout experiences, so that makes this even more glaring to me.

Thanks for your ear and kind words. I appreciate being heard and supported.

I would also like to add that the Girl Scouts are a nearly 100 year-old organization which prides itself on empowering girls through education and service. These troop leaders are in fact doing a disservice to its members when it fails to communicate effectively and chooses to engage parents in immature blame games and sending them on wild goose chases, when it is the job that they have chosen to undertake, to ensure that everyone in the troop is on the same page and that everyone is given the opportunity to be involved. You are very kind because I would have done everything in my power to bring change to this situation as quickly as possible. Never mind being a single parent, which I am. Performing the herculean tasks of parenting a child with special needs requires us to be extremely organized. We work well using schedules and having everything in its place-otherwise complete chaos occurs. I don’t know about you guys, but I can’t operate in chaos. So, just on that premise, it is only fair to give every parent a monthly calendar of events, at least a 48 hour notice of any changes and if there is an emergency, a phone call would be most appropriate. Not everyone has the luxury of just living life by the seat of their pants and when the defective troop leaders with their own agendas realize this, your girl scout experience will be more rewarding. It would be ideal for everyone to be sympathetic and understanding of my life and the joys and challenges I face. But the reality is that most people who have not shared this experience, don’t care…and that’s fine. As long as everyone shows up and does the job that they signed up for, we’re okay. But what I would not appreciate is someone doing a mediocre job and then treating me as though I’m sub-par. We are all in this together and especially when children are involved, we have to give them the very best that every life experience has to offer. What a child learns in the scouts shapes and forms who they will become as adults. We already have enough sarcastic, anti-social, entiltleists roaming the earth. Why not grow up the next generation to be strong, motivated, caring individuals who will go out into the world and do good things. Please forgive the rant, but I know how irritating this issue must be and I wanted to throw my two cents in .

i don’t have anything much to say of use, but you guys rock. siobhan, i hope these folks smarten up. if not, i hope you copy your paragraph about the background reason for being single and how you feel treated like a less-than – and send it to the troop leaders and possibly even the folks above them in the hierarchy. i personally think they should also be making phone calls to troop members when there are significant changes in programming or plans – as internet technology is not that reliable, AND not everyone has it. they aren’t being inclusive and i’m presuming that’s a bottom line philosophy of theirs…
staci, your post rocked – i loved what you said. well done.