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Spoken in the Mutant Family Household

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA13-year-old daughter: “I’m confused about if I want to trick-or-treat.”

Me: “Are you thinking you’re a little old?”

Her: “Yeah.”

Me: “Is it just the candy you want?

Her, cheshire cat smile: “Yeeeesssss.”

Me: “Because we can just give you $10 to go buy the candy you want instead of having to go house to house.”

Her: “Yes! Let’s do that!”


Me: “I feel really lucky you’re my kids’ dad.”


Me: “Besides the genetic thing, I mean.”


Me to husband: “For the record, MRSA puss draining is both disgusting and fascinating.”

Husband: “Are you trying to turn me on?”

Me: “Is it working?”


Best quote from my daugther, ever.

“When you die you’ll take a nap forever. Don’t be boring.”


Daughter: “Girls can do anything Gage can do.”

Gage: “But I can barely do anything I do.”


Set up: Daughter loves make-up:

Friend to me: “Did you show her the Bobbie Brown story on TV?”

Me: “Yes, but she left in the middle of it to put on her make-up.”

Daughter: “I was inspired.”


Daughter says Obsessive instead of Addictive

Her: “I’m so obsessive to airheads.”

Me: “You mean they’re addicting or you’re addicted.”

Her: “I’m obsessive addicted.”


Dad/Husband is eating ice cream out of carton
Dad/Husband looks at son: “You want some!?”
Son: “Depressed?”

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