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Our Parenting Bandwidth

Last week we were forced with moving our son from one school to another mid-year. We’d put off this change, even though we thought about it two months ago (Devil you know vs. Devil you don’t know type of thing.). We didn’t do it back then for a number of reasons, but then we were forced to do it and it felt overwhelming.

We dealt with it fairly quickly because we’d had a school picked out for next year anyway but then the money (double tuition, people), the forms, the uniforms, supplies, and helping him with anxiety that such a move would bring. It was extra stressful for that week during transition.

Sometimes when I’m in the middle of a crisis I forget there was a time before the last crisis and there was a time before that one as well. There was a time when I didn’t think I’d be able to handle One. More. Thing.

Yet, we do. We’re conditioned, we parents who live with uncertianty, to figure out the next possible crisis before the current crisis is completely worked out. In this case specifically, we were lucky because he’d already been admitted, we just pushed up the start date by half a year. But still, it was stressful. I was feeling anxious for my son, so I can only imagine what he was feeling.

Do parents of kids with special needs have a bandwidth that is wider than that of *typical parents? Probably. I’d venture to stay that typical parents look in awe at how we handle it all but I’m fairly certain if they had to handle more they could.

I parent at a stress level higher now than I used to because I know sadness can come, tradgey can befall, and changes have to be made swiftly. I think for me, understanding that I’ll have to employ new tactics, face new fears, fight new fights, live in ever-present state of change make me realize that I have the bandwitch to do more. This is both a good and bad thing to realize.

*my term for parents of typical kids


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